You are not alone
There are so many great resources out there; I've just named a few here that I've used personally or know someone who has.
Alliance of Hope has an array of fantastic and very comprehensive resources, including: community forum, bookstore, consultations by phone or Zoom, online support group, memorial hall. Definitely recommend a visit.
Bags for Strife is a fabulous charity that sends out little bags of support to anyone bereaved by suicide
Compassionate Friends I cannot speak highly enough of this wonderful organisation of bereaved parents helping bereaved parents! Helpline, residentials and events, local groups, walks, online talks and articles, Grief Companion scheme, brilliant booklets to help with all aspects of grief and all types of bereavement of a child/sibling/grandchild
CALM The Campaign Against Living Miserably campaign against, and raise awareness of suicide, particularly amongst men, and offer a helpline to anyone who's struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts as well as useful links to other sites. See also The Lost Hours Walk
CALM app I use the sleep stories most nights to get off to sleep, and when I wake up during the night. I find it very soporific to listen to the human voice. My husband and I do a CALM meditation every morning, which has really helped his sleep too. I'd never used either stories or meditation before but now I wouldn't be without them.
Grief Works app Julia Samuel's 28 session course, working through grief. I probably did it too late as it felt as though I had already done a lot of the grief work by the time it was available for Android. At £49.99 for 3 months/£199 lifetime (2022 prices) its not cheap, but it was a little like having my own personal therapist always available in my pocket, and I did find it a comfort. The app team are very friendly and helpful.
Samaritans I have called them a few times, once when I was at breaking point and just needed to talk. The woman I spoke to was really supportive and I felt a lot better for having spoken to her and said the things I needed to say but couldn't say to my family.
SOBS Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide run local support groups, varies by area. On the website are poetry and useful books, resources for both survivors and professionals, as well as a national support line.
Stay Alive for those at risk of suicide or those worried about someone else; some really useful tools, advice and information
Suicide Bereavement campaigns for more support to people bereaved by suicide
Support After Suicide Partnership has information and support for people bereaved by suicide or supporting those who are, plus a selection of podcasts, featuring stories from people like us
Suicide&Co has a wealth of fantastic resources, including: Helpline for people bereaved by suicide; Counselling service; Organisational Support and a wonderful Help Hub which features first hand accounts, podcasts, films, books, apps all about, by and for anyone bereaved by suicide, including free bereavement support for kids, mental health support for members of the black community; peer-led meet-ups for 18-24 year olds; grief dinner parties; support for bereaved men. Far too many amazing things to list here - take a look for yourself!
Walking the Mourner's Path After a Child's Suicide this blog by Susan Auerbach has been a huge comfort to me. Susan talks openly and honestly about her life since losing her son Noah to suicide in 2013, and has followed up with a helpful book ((2017) I’ll Write Your Name on Every Beach: A Mother’s Quest for Comfort, Courage, and Clarity After Suicide Loss Jessica Kingsley, London) in which she chronicles each stage of grief with its associated emotions. It helped me feel less alone in my loss.