Good Enough Parenting
When we lose our child (sibling/grandchild/friend) to suicide, its virtually impossible not to ask ourselves the question "What did I...
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Traumatic Loss
Losing someone we love is always painful, and always, to some extent shocking. No matter how expected the death is, we can nevertheless...
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A Therapist's Search for a Therapist
I believe strongly in the power of psychotherapy. I have witnessed many, many times the capacity for human beings to adjust, to overcome,...
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Growing a Garden of Hope (3)
Finding Meaning I realise this picture doesn't look much like a garden, but then my garden of hope doesn't always look much like one...
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Talking about Suicide Loss
Losing someone to suicide can be a very lonely feeling. Some people simply do not know what to say, and quite often this means they say...
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CBT Techniques (2) Behavioural Activation
I love this photo of kite-surfers at a beach near where we live. I've never kite-surfed in my life and I think there's very little chance...
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My Grief Journey so far...
This 'Christmas Tree' symbolises the way grief ebbs and flows. Starting at the bottom of the image, and moving up towards the tip of the...
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Growing a Garden of Hope (2)
Accepting Help I have tried to be open to accepting whatever anyone offered by way of help or support since we began this never-ending...
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CBT Techniques (1)
Labelling emotions and thoughts can help; try putting words to what you're feeling and thinking. During the first months and years you...
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Growing a Garden of Hope around the Black Hole (1)
As human beings, we need hope. Yet, in the darkness of grief, when we have lost someone we loved so much, when we are drowning in sorrow...
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The Black Hole
The way that I have always visualised losing Anton is that he has left an enormous, gaping, deep black hole in all our lives. An...
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18 Months after Loss: Finding Hope in the Darkest of Places
Years ago, as a newly qualified Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) therapist in the NHS, I was allocated a patient whose notes filled me...
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Reading Recommendations
Like me, Anton was a voracious reader all his life; he just loved books, and from the moment he learned to read could usually be found...
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The First Year or two: Finding Connections
When Anton died, I didn't know how I would continue to live. Quite honestly, I didn't see how I could possibly survive it. During the...
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Post-Traumatic Stress
Most of us have heard of PTSD: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, but perhaps until now you have associated the term with military veterans...
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The First Hours and Days....
At the very beginning it can be hard, even impossible, to take in the terrible news that the person you love has died. At this point,...
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A Letter to My Beautiful Boy
Home, 9th July 2022 It’s now been 2 years, 6 months and 21 days since you left us. This seems surreal, and very hard to take in....
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